still written....

I've got a simple solution
He said simply stating his name
we could clean up all this pollution
And live in rolling hills with growing green grasses

If we dont do something now
we'll simply stumble back home
Drunken through big city streets
hopefully not falling on our asses

Take deep breaths and hold them
through tunnels waiting to reach that white light
We could all make a wish and
see them realized at night

Suppose we did this
And darling we succeeded
Somehow wed lived forever
Securing ourselves in little ones
versions of me and you on their faces

Excellence
Perfection

In this second verse I'll project a feeling of contention
Hold no contempt just pure recollection
Times were better back then
No saying that now they are great
It's all in what you make it
The next step lies at my feet

Rough "poorly done"

I take these trips
Hour long drive to therapy
Hours of polluting so that I can become whole
I take my time
I never let up
I give in to the powers guiding my existence
They keep me up
On nights like this when blood pumps strongly through my body
All of my veins
All my existence never heard of such a story as I tell
But who's to say
Whos to tell you any different
Whos the one that makes the rules and tells you no
Im not appologetic so dont think ill tell you sorry if you want something you damn well better take it
If not then fuck it
let it go
make a move and let her know that you mean buisiness
thats what im doing
It takes some time
I need to prove myself
before i Succomb to failure

Who am I thinking of
Who always slips back in my head

Tall tales and short lives

I want to live where palm trees grow
Actually I dont
I want
to be where the sunshine slows
and nightime seems as tho it didn't
ever start

or stop
I listen

To the wind
it whispers stories
forgotten fables of existence

We've built up quite a strong resistence
to nature
so much that
we hurt her
So much that she fights back
No-doubtably she'll win

But while you can
I suggest you take a deep breath
And breathe in fresh air
if, You can

For those of you that can't I'll take a dozen

Do you really? Well you dont have to be so Hard on me.

Yeah each one envokes a sentiment
I'd settle
Well its not up to you
you dont make all the decisions around here
im sorry to have to be the one to break it to you
but someones got to get it across to you
you fucking sack of shit
you loser
let me lose myself in this moment of satire
satiristical sundays on days off and on
and working for corporate offices and tax payers and share holders
and see if they give a damn
they dont give two shits about you or what they do
they just want the same thing as you man
a pay check that keeps thrir pockes full or their mouths or their hearts
or their nest and their beak
what do birds have to do with this?
In fact what the fuck do you have to do with this?
What do you even have to do?
Nothing you dont have to do a goddamn thing
you are set
you have it made
a life made out to you in the form of a check
it states one life
and you just need to go cash it in
in the notes section it says live it well
Life
Live it well so that I dont have to
do you even know what you are doing to me?
Half of the time Im all alone by myself
the other half Im in good company
I want to be alone
Am I
Ever

..

Not sure what that means.........
Shoot I was just gonna put that on
Make me like you
Not one bit I'm sorry but youve got such a nice frame
Sorry I'm broken and I cannot be saved
I'm on my way out
Daydreams of stardom
And nightmares consistently saving my soul
At the wrong time
Not that I needed it but it did me just fine
Id say so myself
If i looked in the mirror or even my reflection in the window i just passed
i like it
Attraction
Sometimes birds dont know what a reflection is and they constantly fly into the pane
What a pain?
does that say something of nature
the nature of life
of natural selection and choosing a wife
send buckets of tears to the oceans
Stay open and wash all your worries away
These wounds
suture
stich
never healing correctly
scars
large oblong deformed and not beautiful
At which time did you get this
I was with her
Oh and that one right there
No I was alone
Nobody cared
Well I do
Now.... is that option enough?
What? option number one?
Yeah I guess thats a reason
But youre just looking for them
reasons you call them
sources and starts
Star studded night skies and dead empty parks
Swing sets at night time and cold blowing air
Ill stop it right there
So stop me right here

But I'll give it my best shot

so he got up just as fast as he sat down
Didn't waste a minute really

How come we use such contradiction
Asking questions that don't have an answer
Does it

AAAh I dont know
If you saw it from my perspective Im sure it'd all be the same

But you don't
now
you didn't Right?
Using proper english are we?

Fuck what's up with these questions
I' think i'll just stop quik right there

That's a tough one

I know Im stabbing
Taking a chance in the dark

Especially without understanding....
it all

Like fresh air
crisp and clean
"fresh" Air

Found only in that valley

I can't explain the temperture
I cant explain the layers of clothes
Garments that we have to wear

To take them off

In peices

"shed" our skin

Why cant' we swim in the shallows?

Why must I dive straight into the deep

It feels like nothings underneath me
But who will catch me?

Then?

Who will teach me?

Does it ever make you wonder
Just what is being said

Stupor

Let's see you rush to my rescue
Sreaching voice and screaching brakes
More like rubber on the tarmac
that passed so quick beneath your feet

As you went off in that direction
So way up North and then back down
Along the coast of California

No one to edit
No one small correction
could have ever stopped this

I'm all



ears

Supposedly, the leaves went up in flames

For a better reason than none
I've got a worthwhile explanation

Well Maybe not worth while
But while you read this
Try to keep an open mind

A picture

Yourself

Not gruesome

But figurative

Close your eyes
As you are the missing part

The top of your skull
Has been Cut off

Your mind is now open
A flat top

and where your brains once sat
an empty bowl

A crater

The last and sole remainder
It acts as a reminder

The cradle of life

So snuggle up
Warm to the fire
So hot the house,
Could all, but burn down

Do you smell that?

It's in your clothes and 'on the road'
Your teary eyes reddened by smoke

It's in the air indeed
A cozy place for you to be

and live out this day
while you're away

while im away

are you still fleeting?

Off the top with constant motion

Youre not that poetic
It doesnt come right to you
words could roll off the toungue if you only tried
In spite of all that has been
Im going on in case i Dont get a second chance
The stage is set
I always watch it from afar and sometimes i get kicked out
Booted from the scene trajected into space
Outter
If that could be said
I can get thins off my mind
Im not trying to be blatant or blunt
but what does it mean to not know what you do
or at least know not what to say
Anyways im not sure what happened
there are some blank spots in the story
History repeats itself
So im sure im not the first
and I have no clue who'll be the last
I hope it lasts
I wish I didnt miss them
They would have been great
And I am completely dissapointed with myself
Well at least iM alright and so is

Sex

Perfect weather and fresh air
Mountains, nature
naked

clothes in a pile

A blanket
A field
soft slight breeze
Kisses

Teeth shown by smiles
Looking back at me

Sacred
Spring time
Loveless
Bliss
Suspicion
Quiet Bees
Buzz
Chirps
birds Song's

Life
and
Beauty

One
As the sun warms our skin
And clouds drift on by

El Pato <(:)>The Duck

We live the high life
and never getting enough for ourselves
Dont't know what pains like
because we always fall back on or wealth

Now that youre gone
I can go back to liking the day
Oh girls I wish that I Like
Liked the night

And if you only knew just what to say
I might as well believe that makes it right

Dont think its funny
Cuz im not laughing

And if you play me for a fool once again
you know what happens
Specially cause no one knows wher you are
Or where youve been

I take this lightly
It gives me freedom
It gives me peace

Oh peace of mind

I can speak freely
of my feelings
and get them out so I feel allright

Whoever reads them
Can see into them
they can see whats going on inside my head

They can interperet
Oh if they
so wish

And they can understand me from whats being said
I like to Fall
Its what I do
I lose my balance and crash
into
nothing

P.S. initially i was going to leave this blank

Post script,

But coming before.....Going

I was a little late on the draw.
I drew a blank that time and you held it against me
The barrel pressed to my skull

Unlike others that I know
Someone had given me the right

I'm not going to exercise it,
But
Just know that youve got it.

And I was correct,
In knowing nothing at all

Nothing remotely related to the topic of talk,

Interest me in the ways of the world

Bind us together and no one shall fill full
Or in essence Fufull

For what do these spoken words speak
Than to intensify her feeling

Ya I said it, but im not sure what you meant
Do you Mind explaing?
P.S.
you can do it on your own time if you'd like

That girl wore me out yesterday
Well this morning as well
Could it have been last night maybe?
i guess

A spot on the screen
*
"There do you see it?"
It looks like a smudge

tho it could be an asterisk

At Ease

Supposedly the night sky left its mark upon the day
But I don't see it
Im not sure where i should look

Where shold I be looking?
If anybody knows
Or can
Tell

Then
Please
do

It was like a storm
And she tore through the pack

Strewn across the floor
Was his heart

Im not sure if that adds anything to the story
But then again
Im not sure that anyone is gonna care

I like to smile
And i crack myself up

See Im smiling right now as we speak
I hope it rubs off
Just not in eraser
the kind that turns pages white

......As you were

Hey your teeth are showing

Alone???? You tell me

So hopefull
an imposter

stealing
thievery and spite

in case you dont want to look
ill spell it out

and day by day the thots progressed

are we headed in the right direction?
Well I dont know captain
It sure seems the right of way
Well Dammnit im in charge
yes sir you are right
Well i already know the answer
Uhh sir?
you asked the question
God dammnit i told you to be quiet already!
Shut the Fuck up you idiot
Im not going crazy!!!!
Who said that

Thats it turn this boat around
Sir youre driving

Youre making me angry

Do I have to do everything myself?!


Ahh now thats more like it
The scenery is so picturesque
oh and those quaint little houses
how they remind me of America and my youth
My childhood.

Are we headed in the right Direction??
...
.....
.......
.........
Well are we???
Somebody??? Answer me !!!!!!

Hello?

Is anybody there

Without bindings,Null the senses,Lash out against the sensless,Add the least amount of sentiment

all Ive ever really longed for was freedom
Abound in hopes and ways
Teeming hilts the madness
so riden
lost
and safe
Condemn the other side
oppose sit
surely
will this fail?

On the other hand
Naked flesh
afoot
aloof in height
not fit for flight
they all come right before the other
in a boat
under the stars

if you dont ...
..... .. ....
Im not sure
im never sure
are you a safe bet

rather hopeful

Well I can never find you
So heres to looking
I think im gonna go and buy a bottle

That wont help my mindset
But it beats sitting on my ass another hour

At least in 20 minutes i'll be happy

And for a day
so far away
so long ago
i miss the ocean and it's smell

Stuck living here
a slave to no-one
but living here is almost worse than I could tell
Im not living lightly
not seeing blindly
not asking questions
never getting a reply

Please dont excite me
i get excited easily
and for the record i just seemed inclined
to catch you

that time you called me
out of the blue
i was taken back
its been long since ive been high

Fear and self Loathing

After another breakdown and Blow-up
I'm still not sure if you understand me

But i know
I understand myself better
And,
this world that surrounds me.
I'm ascending this ladder

Age,

Plays me better than you do

So I choose to walk this world alone,
Im at home

in my comfortable surroundings

Finding relief,
in reposeable sanctions

Sweet sweet sincerity

oooooWeeeeee
just look what you do ta me
look at the ashes ive formed
a speckle
some sin
and a light from within
paper lamps that are now on the floor


There was a party
a welcome home party
and everyone you knew was invited.
Luckily they all didn't show

Well luckily the ones that didn't like you
Didn't show
As for the rest of them they were all there.
Your brothers and your neices
Nephews, Aunts, uncles
Children
Mothers and fathers
the ones you missed and the ones you hate
Tho they needed to see you
your face altho you attest their very pressence
It's not their fault you say
But get them away from me

Just try to be nice
O.K. It was a good time and now the suns up
Everyone par-took and once the littles were asleep
It all really begun
Drugs for days
seeping into spines and veins
Dropping breathing
Hits and inhilation
Water
Beverage
Alcohol
And whiskey
beer and wine
sake and vodka
minus landing on the ground
As everyone flew
THe awakening was just as bitter.

Indigenous Tribes of North America : The Western Hemisphere but mainly Central California

I grow more and more like you
Every day
Distant
En-guard

Yet in-depth and slightly focused
on which might blurrrrrrrrr the senses

Sometimes I sit and Stare
blankly I can see
But the light behind my eyes blinds my mind
My mind's eye

If it would only come to me
Those newly formed bonds
not broken

Well
I wish you well
My willing well
(I know thats not mine)
(but i like his play on werds)
(Claudio)

Cloudy-O

O.K.
Now for the thriller

Take me as you wish
More over
How you please

Please?

Recumbent

Or suggestive of repose
I guess i'll take this lying down
I'm not afraid
ive just got problems facing fears

And falling asleep
Maybe i'll read

I want to
But music soothes my ears
I like to sing along as well

Altho it keeps me way too occupied
Especially this mix
Onew after another
Something to keep me going
Something i actually like
That makes all the difference

Too bad I cant sing at work

Oh-well
Ill get by
and get along

My dreams last night were intense
If I could only share.

One last sonfg and then i'll shut my eyes
good morning sunshine
Goodnight my nightmare

To Meeeeeeeeee

She holds onto the future
And she holds onto the past

I will not let it ruin all thats been
and all that lasts

Ill keep myself from going under from what's never meant to be

Cause life itself is rolling thunder minus all
The Flashing

The Constant Light shown In the dark

That leads my way through the unknown
I give Thanks
To all i saught out
And in time what has now grown
To be a Blank and empty Question
Mark-
ing
all that's never been

If I can keep this poem going then I'll know it from within

Ill know
the purpose of my
sentece
Not so selfishly ammused
And to the right of my.

I dont know,
so i will stop and then assume

The position
a premonition in the dark
not my submission
but
if you listen
what will
start

once again
i'll mend this track for you to cross

that last sentence made me realize that i wasnt
worth you waiting for
. But
I can smile
as you pass and hope you smile
back at me
at least remember when we shared
one life
one being
one
just one more thing

goodnight
and sweet dreams

Dreams Make wishes Come True

This one i thot out.
Not enteirely.
But for the premise.

Sometimes i wish in 3-D,
And when I sleep I see the shapes
Come to life

All it takes is a little imagination,
Hope,
And mainly fear.

Ive got a notion,
Burning brightly in my mind,
A sleeping potion.
Concocted soley from past lives,
and past times

Flavored memories,
and salty skin
remembrance and reverie
I've held within

It fakes itself,
and makes me happy.

Tho when I wake I'm
Less than whole.

If you would let me,
Just like fate

I take a toll

I collect it

And dispense a heaping portion,
of desire
conflict epic notions
Of what sould have been

Take the time to think
and never let the feelings go.

Cuz ive learned this much

what you care for will in time grow.

Don't give in.

and surely

Dont ever give up
Rome was not built in a day

Neither were
The
Pyramids
The great wall of China
The pentagon
Or Tall Tall Trees

We need to Nurture Nature
and let our lives Blow with the breeze

That will surely surround us
evry time the wind duth blow

I make no sound
But
Let me show you
And You'll know.........

LOVE.

Its way to overpowering

Gorgeous does not grow on Trees

I dont know how I do it.
Maybe I have have too much confidence?
I know i have too little.
Either way with liquor,
(Liquid)Confidence
I'm bound to break.
It's innevitable.

Innevitability is not random
It's an,
Udeniable fact

So take that
Mister individuality
You need to,
Speak out,
To be heard.

I found that out the hard way
If you keep on talking

At some point
They will listen

And if they did before
And they got bored
Youve got them hooked

Keep on talking
For they will listen once again

Master the art and know how not to lose them
Wave, my brother

Waves......

My good man.

Keep on breaking on the shore
She sells sea shells down there
So go buy a few and let her know shes wanted
Plus they really are beautiful shells

And i know my shellfish.

I want to name this YES

That was just a rough copy
plus this can go anywhere else in the book that you like
altho i know you only work it in progression



Maybe you should try something new?
Words just spill out
Its cool.

Like.....

In-vertigo, what is that?

Where's that sommer dress?
she does....
...'nt

Know me like she think she does
I'd kill to see her look Like that in person.
She doesnt have an once of fear
And only if i had her here
I'd make her feel like she's
ONE
in Fifty million
Altho she doesnt want my love
Romantikly
She softens up
and gives in for the knight (thats me)
she knows she likes it
Forever and a day

Ive been

So far off and away
Not within.....
reach
Nor easily at her Disposal
Sometimes thats all it takes

A bright white light
And lovely lanterns that always
give me away

As I'm walking out the door shes regretting this once more
This union.

But my pride,
drives me home @ 5:30 in the morning
That time we spent alone, we shared a blanket
and one of us cared enough to wake up and get on with life without warning

I still believe myself
There are better ways to do this
Like smile-ing

Pergatory

what are you creating back there?

A blast of deafening hot air?

No.
Not something that will hurt anyone,
but something that will save us all.

well i dont know what it is you're talking about,
and i dont think that you do too.

So....
what i'll do,
is keep my eyes open,
and my ears open,
and my mouth shut.

Riding on a bike doesn't do anything good,
when youre swallowing bugs every ten seconds.

especially beatles.
Ya..
The beatles have all been digested.
There's not time for anything else.

They are what the are.

Beatles.

and they get what they get.

if thats sub standard
then I guess that is so.

is this the whole story?

I thank you for listening,
I just want to keep this going.

You know.
Going.
like, non stop

alright?
ALLRIGHT!

A cord connecting us all

Blue,
is the color of water.
and i dont know what im doing.

I keep putting this into text,
For no reason at all.

I dont want to keep anybody up.

And im not.
I'm only keeping myself from falling asleep,

fast.
asleep.

Alone in my surroundings,
Acidic values.
Not suspended in material motion.

Don't act like you know what im talking about,
I mean.

Like i know what im talking about.

I dont know what im saying,
I just know that its different,
and that makes all the difference.

Indifferance

My little swimmer.
My little fish,
Above the land and in the water.
Please take my hand.

Ive got the scars to remind you.

Goodbye? Question mark?

whoever said that this was a living picture?
i didnt.
well,
i like to think of it as one.
that was something that she said to me.
contradictory to my first statement.
........
i dont like to do that,
but sometimes i do.....
do it.

I keep on going until its gone.
nobody ever has to say goodbye, if they dont want to.

1. 2. 3.

And i couldn't.
But I could,
and I wouldn't
if you'd let me,

Then i'd step back and watch it grow.
slightly,
larger.

not any smaller,
than the last time.

But this time.
i know what im doing.
tomorrow is just,
another day.

wait.....

it is tomorrow.
well then the next day,
after that.

o.k. that makes better sense.
i dont want to confuse anybody,

but YOU seem to want to.

well thats not my fault if they dont get it,
then they just don't get it.
i cant control or determine what they'll do.

love y'all.... you all
hilly billy status
and life
A life of....
Oh yes
a life of love

Oh it sure did

And you were always on my mind.
Well In the parts I was coherent for.
The others were just whispers.
I want times like those again.

I know I'll get them, but I don't want to have to wait for them.
Altho it's best to "Play"
the waiting game.....

Cause if you're always,
Going out and getting what you want.
Then you become useless,
And used,
Used up.
Cheap.
Wasted.
You wasted the best of life on what you wanted,
and; Us.
Being humans,
Are selfish. Shellfish.
The only time we aren't,
Is when we leave it in the hands of others,
To do,
Our bidding.
Or make our decisions.

So put THIS, into your rapture.
And wrap me up into a neat little package.
And send me through the mail,
Or put me in a box and give me to your love.
Your loved one.
Not Litterally.
But.
All that I am.
All that I embody.
Life, Love, and Longing.
Skill, cannot keep me from you.
I will choose my words wisely and if you never hear them I will keep them coming.
If they never reach you they will keep on growing.
But,
Don't think that they will ever stop.
Because that is the end,
And I have no plans of ending any thyme soon.
No thoughts on that subject at all!

To all of you that I am speaking.
You know who you are.
and it is not just one.
It.
Is.
All,
of you
Whom I have touched,
And loved.
And still love.
This is the greatest gift of them all.
No censorship.
Just pure emotion.

Liar, Liar, Liar (he lies to himself)

Already Ive topped last months
last months tally
or
score
but have they held any meaning
have they been useful
or will they even ever be looked at
most
like the rest wont
and thats a shame
downright

but seriously
who gives
a
f_ck?

not I.

Get, Like i Said, Accquire

Acquisitionally speaking,
Who has what it takes
to master the art of
mastery?
Is that an art?
Of mastering?

It's quiet
nothing but fans creaking, <- boards and lamps.
Buzz
Computers think too.
You can listen,
Do they move you?
Well I'm not getting up
So don't even try it.
I'll be here a while.....

I'll ask you a question.

If there were something i could give you in return.
Not that i want to,
But what would it be?
and, I'm not saying that you've done anything for me,
or that i want you to,
or that I'm even gonna
do anything for you,
or even to you.
because you surely haven't,
done a thing for me.
Not anything that warrants regard anyways,
or deserves as much as a thank you.

I just want to provoke
whatever it is that i do
or did these last few seconds in time.
Did it cause you to think?
Rationally,
or
Irrationally,
Did it rub you the wrong way?
poke or jab?
Was there a taste left on your tongue
either
bitter or sweet

In all actuality
Was one of these descriptions
somewhere in your thot banks
sending something to your eyes.
and if there wasn't.
then that's OK too.
I'll end this with a smile
go out and get yours.
your acquisition
:-)

This, makes slim to none....if any

And in a while,
A, long long while,
like a while wed to years,
not days nor minutes,
or even seconds for that matter.

longer than serpents made of stone,
or a stone-like substance.
Sinking fast into the abyss.
of deep dark waters,
off the coast of Mexico,
or Portugal
or Peru
Spain maybe,
South America and North.

both poles,
each one frigid and alone,

I now am

am one,
two feel like this
If I could stop it,
would you let me?

Board your ship?
carry my weight,
and let me sleep?
rest?
recuperate?
renew?

Risk and Retrobution

(I call this)
June
And in this month I turn a page.
I start anew
Bookmark in place i close the cover
Enough for today

23 years and counting
counting on my will now
Free will
Ambition and drive
Ive got this mission
missionary position
teeth clentched
bite marks are not permanant if the dont break the skin
They wont leave a scar.

Your move
my move
made moves
waves and currents
tides
ebbing
washing
cleansing

hope hope
hopefully
anulled
a numbing concept
tingling your skull
as the hairs stand on end and the magic soaks your spine

The 8th was my day
a day for me.
and sew it was

Of what I've Become

In the very least
I had time to make the best
Altho I couldnt reach you

Like you say

we show ourselves sparingly
By chance of conviction
By happening
I have no big words to express it encoded
Only commonly used diction
Thats straight to the point
To the point of my existance
The reason my heart beats

The thump in my chest
that rises and falls with each passing breath

My Head can rest peacefully as i sleep on your bestowment
If life will let me live
I will
and I will never forget

overly used But never losing its intensity or intent
I love you
It simply exists without question

A quick Kiss Goodbye

Insanity...
What effect beauty can have on me.
Not like any other
Unlike all that I know
I know nothing of what i speak of
I want to learn
I long to hold
In my arms
Tightly bound to yours
Have I been hosed
Is this one sided Yearning
Or Does my Lust serve a purpose
One I will never see
Nor
Bennefit from
im not sure
Not too sure at all
But I still have It
And it isnt going anywhere
I cannot simply turn it off
Or Look the other way
I can cope
And all I hope is to Someday be free

Symmetry

Both sides are Perfect
Complimenting each other
Perfect

I like to get going
to get gone
to get on top of things and direct the show

To be in control
When I have none i Feel Tormented like the world is spilling over
Stop! Pouring
cant you see its had enough
The glass is full
Do not fill it past its means
that is just a waste
excess is unnecessary
It is un needed
un clean
Not like the Lord
It is of the devil
of the lowest form
Do not heed the words of the devil
of the dark

I heed my own label
my own fist
Risen into the air
a symbol of ad version
An adversary

Al tho I do not know what side I want to be on
I can make no decision
For I am at odds with all I do

Do not make a scene
Be the seamstress you Have been and sew me threads of Fertile Wombs
and Fertile men
A fertile Man
A love
A Life
A Life Long Love

Beautiful?.........
Will you?

O' Say you shall

Sign me in and hand me over
like i meant something to you
like you thought all that you wanted
would be shiny and un-used

But Oh
contrary
I have be-fallen for something i never thought i would fall for
falling
fallen
falsified documentation
Mis-Representation
of the living
the damned
the Hurt, Confused
Those misserably in misery
I strive to hold my head high
Hold My hand
Hold My heart
My Organ
Pumping life into lifeless veins
Be that
and Be

Knocked off my Rocker

My axis has been tilted
There is no structure to keepit upright
Night Becomes Day
And Day, Night
The will of the willing holds no weight now
Only the Here and Now are worth willing my soul for
so come here
Now
And do not waste anymore time
I shall give to you
and It will be done
I can keep waiting
altho it conflicts my well being

Foresight and Hindsight

Finally some New Substance to revell over
Some New text to ponder and out-wit
a challenge
something better than these dismal days of freedom

Had we not been set loose we would not know what to expect
these days to come
with spring drawn to a close and the sun beating
It will be hot here
and
It will be hot there
Both of these valleys are an attestment of the living
stand
here
there
with me, beside me
And I will conquer them all
with the sun
and the moon
the waves and the clouds
see to it that we all shall prosper
In this golden age of summer
I will be waiting
I will return
Will you
My love?
will you?

Only Correspondence

And so it goes.

I guess it wasnt meant to be.

Ive been misled
Another time,
By
Sweet Sincerity.

There is nothing I can ask you that you might give me

What I want I cannot ask for
So Ill retire without speaking
I need to go back into silence
Only letters can express it entirely

Where's the Exit?

So how are you doing?
She Asked
"Full of torment" and I closed my eyes
I guess theres Not much else to say
Or Not much sympathy to get
No theres no Sympathy for the devil
I 'm not going to ask
Its just i thought i had it coming
Well, look at you

youre always thinking wrong
You'd do yourself a little better not expecting nothing
I just dont like giving up
Nor Giving in

Sole Purpose

at least now i have something to say
Express
afflict
effect
You should
Be Here
Maybe.

I would keep you safe.

Some shut eye

when i need to i Cant
and when i want to it fails me
sometimes i think that i can but close my eyes only to open them.
when the sun is rising i can and when i need to get up i close my eyes effortlessly it torments me,
sleep
and laughs in my face
masochist in all that I do.
sadist.
Some love mercy
some love pain
where are you?
you might just like it the way youve got it.
And thats fine by me

Get me through this.... FUCK!!!

as you can see
Lately
Ive been struggling
not filled to the hilt with words to spill out
emotion
Less
Regard
Why did you make me so bland
the dismall truth is that i needed it
needed nothing
under grad
under paid
under the influence
what should i do now?
what should i be doing
I fear I have failed.
I fear i have made a bad mark on my page.
But this is here for me
Mine It is and it will always be
look in upon
peer in upon
laugh
and realize what youve known all along
i respect that and so I shall laugh along side you.
I too will smile back. Hello.

not tired

tomorrow is today
the next day we strive to follow
we dont know where our keys are
and our minds are never with us
will you follow me

will you take me with you
i want you to
i want to go where you go
will you touch me
will you make me feel like im amillon dollars
time takes its time
days pass

and i do too
leave me
here in my surroundings
leave me here
to be with you
alone in my space

i need it
i have no trouble with that
its me and the moon

up with the sky

up with the letters
they start with a and end in e

i wont make you
i only want it to be
a lie
and i will taste your lips
live with that
take in all i can
all i can of you

i will just like you

i will kill
with no remorse.
with no thot of whats become
i will leave in the dust,
what has been and now whats done
do not
i dont
and never will again
i tell you
scream you
bastard of a son
a child
a sibling
a symphonic being
be me
be.
me.
intervein
and i will listen
forget and i will thank
i will,

I

will

kill.
cold blooded killer
take me out.
for i will keep
every soul i can

my screen masks,
like all that ive worn
for i am not torn.
im in the greatest place on earth
listen closely
you will hear my worth pound in your head

im ahead
a head
and youre alone
do you get that?

Lead And I will Follow-:-Follow And I will Lead

Not everything has its price
But Last night i par-took in a pastime that does
We Give up one good thing for another
and we dont know what we had until its gone

I had better feel better by monday morning
that marks the day that i begin to run
Run for my life from the demons
that chase me

I will sweat out the fear and take back all I can
I will quit breathing in darkness and exhaling smoke
if not forever.

Then until the sun retreats early again
but I hope that in time
I will be back inside of her

the future is written
on back of these hands

That cling tightly to,
desire,
memories, maturity
annuity. fertility
insight
a cure for the able and willing
i wish you well my
sweet survivor
pushing on in a state of all states
a country among countries that can effect
the whole world

you are here and I am here
and I Am a constant
although the only constant is change
we can build a better being if we change in the right ways
do not forget or block out what
puts into perspective
the life that we lead
and the life that leads us

Who What Where When Why

i sit in the sun thats made its mark across my back
and the ocean churns slowly with each passing breath
the waves compete constantly in a contest of anger
pushing and pulling the land

the girl who put an X on my soul
Has brought out all I tried to hold in
Though introvertedly solemn
I still seem to be

Ive been touched by the warmth and the grayce of her hand
In time i will realize all that it meant
Until then I will strive to
Better

Better a whole
better it all
everything has its purpose
its time in the sun
Its time to shed light on the darkness of night
a beacon
a hope
a fire ablaze

so burn
burn out not fade away

I will walk your line until my feet bleed
and I become weary

It seems i am destined for solitude
for just as long as ive been along side of you
I now have been walking alone

It is OUR fault.

what sets us apart from the beasts is our conciousness
Though we are unconcious
of the effect that we have

of the strain that we put on all that lives along side of us
we torment the earth and pollute the air
our waters are rising
swallowing land and in spite of this
we pro-create life
in search of whats fair

Our fare is un-paid to the mother below us
this earth that we dwell on
has right to be scared
for if we dont stop and take heed to the signs of lust
driven by greed and hate
we're so unaware
dont hide from the truth
it lurks quickly behind us

there is no escaping
no safe place to run to
why lie to ourselves
why bluntly not care

It can only mean that we are not deserving
Un-deserving of this garden of eden
its engrained into our minds by the book of our father
who sent us out to fend for ourselves
when she dis-obeyed his code

Whose fault is it??
His or Hers???
Mine or Yours?
Share in the blame..
And Bask in the consequence..

Instantly Amused (My Muse)

I want to sing.
With all the birds in the sky.
The ones that never touch down.
I want to bring happiness into your life.
And,
Please you with sound.

Be my princess,
My Queen,
The keeper of my heart.
I will make you a box to keep it in.
A labor of love.
Intense feeling,
I want to send your mind reeling.
On a string that never ends
Infinite connection.

There are so many things i want to tell you.
Tell you...

And so it must be,
I cannot see it any other way.
Do not give me the time of day,
But be that time.
Of day and night.

True
All i ask of you is to be true.

Me and you.

Grammatically corrected
You and I.

I stand tall.
And hold my ground,
The rock,
In the river.
No current can carry me,
Her waters make me smooth.
Run your fingers,
Down ....

Is love like this?
Is our love like this?
It is no secret.

Plea,

We will be stronger.
I will travel with you in this world and through the next.
Be the one I know,
And do not ever change who that you are.

Times of The Night

4 oclock
and her recent contact has given me a contact high
send me to sleep
send me to be with my dreams
i hope that i may have some
break me off a peice of that
im not asking

Keep Kyle waiting

once upon a time
there was a girl
who lived at the top of the world

Once upon a time
there was a boy
who drove every chance that he got
just to be with that girl

but to no
avail
his wishes they wernt ever granted
cuz she lied
yes she lied
wont you lie
next to me

i lie with her
and i feel so comftorble
i cant see....

i cant see

all the secrets
that she keeps

that she keeps
from me

dont you keep me waiting
on this floor 'im so cold

that i cant stop from shaking
evry time i go to sleep.

Errrrrrr What?

Im salting my wounds
But the pain almost makes me happy

The Fungus Among Us

Unique
I think
Oh,
you've got me.

You've got me all wrong.

I was made in his Design.
DivineBrillianceandGrayce

Like Him I will Be

Maybe you can find traces of me in others
But This dime
Lives alone in his surroundings.
Ive never found things quite so beautiful
As I did when i was High
Altering perception
For hours on end.
It wasnt ecstacy
It was better
And you will never know until you try

Sure , sure, I believed you

(I actually did).....
(but that's another story)

Yes 'oh yes
Tonite feels like a good night for typing words
And clicks, a humming machine beneath my finger tips.
I will put onto you what has been inside me.
Most will never even be read,
Some get over looked.

Loathed?

Liked?

Deep in thot,
Where in the puzzle do I lie?
The peice that you know exactly where it goes from the beginning,
Or that peice that when youre done you just cant seem to find?
That finishing touch.

Like the hands of a lady.
One that seems so sincere,
Sinister?
No sincere.

Thats the right word.
Now
Back to streaming logic
All hesitation set aside,
I wish you no ill will my love
We are now even
Now give her to me
You made me who I am
is this a line that you write us all.
One and only you. Because you are you in me without me.

Boy, you sure know how to choose'em
Cause you can never let them go.
By god they're all so perfect you could stand them in a row.

Good taste, he has.
And they all tasted great ;-)

Oh Boy.

Hypocrites and Hand grenades

And suddenly it all fell into place.
Two fates sealed.
Each in their own envelope.
But with the same kiss.
Different mail bags,
and different carriers.
I will not say goodbye
But I will miss you
I will not take a chance to ever come back here again.

I know that is a lie.
Lie
Lie Lie
Lie
Lie

It is my home and I will never be gone too long.
Love drives me away,
But i have big plans.

To get myself positioned,
Directly under the stars.
The sky will spin around me,
I won't be dizzy

Will you?

They all resemble me.
Kind of funny.
A fetish?
Yeah, I think so.

Ramble,
I like talking to myself in code.
See what you can interpret.
I'm sure that you might crack it.
No amature am I? Perplexing.
But like I said


Or,
was it......
I dont know exactly.
But we all deserve whats coming to us......

I always want You with Me

each passing day brings me closer to life
each setting sun brings me closer to death

The moon is always full
In step with day and Night
It holds hands with the earth
Our earth
we stare from afar

It lights up and we smile to know its there
a constant reminder that we are not alone

Its comforting to know that someone loves us

Can We Have it Our Weigh

What do I say to that?
Blatantly put.
So elloquently
Like the thots that lay back in my mind.

I repeat it repedatively.
This word and that.
She just stopped,
and I kept going.
I turned around and she was gone.
How i wish she would have stayed.

I do not know her

I do not know her

and for the record. I'll say it one more time
Not allowed, aloud.
But in my mind.

She thinks I don't,
I think I do.

She runs away from all thats hopeful.
I will not be this worker bee
forever.
For I will Make something of myself
for all to see

And I'll have children.
Little me's and her's

How about it?
What has become?

Are we qualified to make all these assumptions,
Or are we just practicing without our Licenses?
I swear that someday I'll amount to something,
But until then I'll live my life through grams and ounces.
40's and 1.5's

When I first awoke

I weighed in @ 9 lbs. 10 oz.
what a big baby
I still am

Amazing ______ (Fill in The Blank)

[Hint: it's the name of a song]

did you think I not know this
I felt every inch of it
pass Before my eyes

I stood in disbelief
And Hid myself from the sun
Its rays scorch the skin

The "power of moonlight" soothes
and so I shall

And we shall
All be happy

I'll be happy
show my teeth
My God She is beautiful

A Higher Plain

once i saw the truth
i wasnt told it
i knew which way to go i couldnt hold it in
now im far from gon
i hold it
not in but let it go
i let it take me

that night i knew the truth
i told it
i wont holdback again i swear.
if youre not going anywhere then where are you

Im not here but there
im somewheres in between
dont lie
and dont assume
all the answers lie within you
im not asking
and im telling you beware
aware
enlightened
lighten your load
good good night
arent they always

its just your outlook that is bad
dont make it
good good good
good vibrations

And Thats Where Ill Rest My Head

as to the querry of the search
That's irrelevant
We leave a data trail anyway

as it is. it is fine

Make your mark
and i'll make mine
Do not be bitter
I am here
I am waiting
i will occupy my time with the world around me
those here and there

and all of them in between
i know of all no's
and yes's

each one granting or denying
the two of us

what we want
Do We know

i dont
yet i do

passing of expression
this one is

half assed
yet deeply sincere

i give it all for eternity
eternally at home

Reign Supreme

i build permanent structures
and you set up camp
i tie knots
and you tie bows

pretty red ones
ones that sparkle and shine
mine are mangled and tough to get out

i cant even get out of them

i can get out of my clothes tho
and i can get yours off

id be proud if i could keep them off
but we all need to cover up
what should we say or do
when should we stop

time to get some sleep
its just the beginning every time we close our eyes

Alike in So many ways

Aren't we all?
You can't help but send Mixed Signals
When you don't know what you want
You're better off just stepping back,
And Looking at what you've got.

You have it all
so stop trying so hard.
I will be there to break the fall.
And i will be strong.
Lord be my guide
For I may Faulter.

Hope.

Meaningless to some

To many,
The world.

Faith.

Blind as a bat.
I send a sign.
Now send it back

Cold Feet

I'm thinking of cutting mine off
I keep thinking
Does it give me Hope
False hope ??
Not one word spoken since.

As to Why

I know there's an answer
I want to get at it.
That answer
I know none of you know what im talking about.
Maybe just one.
We'll leave it that way.
Just like me.
Left in the Dark.

This California sun burns,
And its Freezing outside.
The sky ablaze.
I blaze.
Consumation.
Un-holy Lust.

I like her better when shes mine
Thats when my chest is free to breathe
and my mind is free to think
She put this on my wrist............

WARNING

Some can seem so endearing
Like they will satisfy your every need
But they satisfy their own
It is just an illusion
A 'smoke screen
wave your hand through it

It swirls into nothing
Dissipating into thin air
What once was there
Is no longer

Vanishes it does

I trust
Loosely
Don't set your self up for failure
This is just a warning
Heed my words
But that's all that they are
Words
You should trust yourself
We are in the same boat

Options

She Is Beautiful,
Inside and out.
Nothing can Stop her,
Not even I.

Twas beauty Slain the Beast.

The things I think when I see her,
The softest touch,
I can give with my hands
Firmly tho.
She needs to know I support her.

I can't depend on anything.
Countless nights and days have past.
Who set this spell that I'm under.
And who gets to say when it ends.

Not i Said the blind man.
It wasnt me said the man with the gun.
But watch out i can do something worse.

So i Backed up a little.
I guess a broken heart is better than one thats not beating.
Some would agree,
Yet some would chase it down a hole.
A dark, dark, Tunnel.

Not all.

But i question my reasoning as I stand at it's Entrance.

Anyone in their right mind would have Turned back By now.
So I won't waste my time in taking it.
This last chance.

Do Not Pass Judgement

Tho i may judge you.
I take no action upon it,
and hope you do the same.
This is used as a tool,
To open the mind.
To not hide.
To be seen.
So see Me.
I take that back,
judge me.
But help Me,
as a Friend
Or a lover.
Whichever you may be.
And I shall proceed in the same manner,
co-exist.
Make each other better
and do this for well Being.
The well being of the whole.
Which is him, her, yourself,
Whomever.
Together.
Do not expect,
But be expected of.

Believe that we are one

The Pinch That Cures the Itch (Rightfully Stolen)

"For Title Alone"
If this were anything I had asked for
would I be contented to say thank you?
Would you be inclined to say that I'm welcome?

I want to be.
I want to be accepted and liked,
not attested and hated.
Im not a fighter,
Not physically,
But emotionally.
I am strong.

I want what I can't have
But when I had it I was happy.
Trust that.
Altho,
There are always those suspicions,
The ones that drag you down and doubt your worth,
But hopefully 'they'
As in them.
The ones that you love.
Will see, and re-store your faith
Truthfully
And Specifically.
Special For you.
Your needs are their Demands,
Not litterally,
But in some respect.
They go out of their way to make you
Gold,
Though You are far more precious,
And this they know

Bring yourself to Say it

Rushed Or Hurried?
Not at all.
As if you even made any sense

So discreet
Not even God can aquire the truth.
What does this mean?
Im not allowed to know.
Forbidden Fruit

Think of it as Streaming Logic.
Sentences cut out of thin air.
But dont proceed Until you understand fully.
scissors, no hands,

Snip!

And As it was
It were,
For it will be
until.....The ___

Finish it.
I know you want to.
Slow down and take your time.
Quit moving soooooo fast.
I like that about you,
Enough to put an end to the end.

Familiar,? Does it sound?

I am in your head.
stumbling in the dark
But only a Few Times
For I Know this place.
and there's enough to break my fall.
A big bed,
full of comfort
and warm blankets for the cold,
for the heat,
It keeps me going.........

Show Me???!!

I don't need to be shown a thing or two
I need someone to be on my team
On my side
someone to work with me,
towards goals that will benefit us both,
we will share communion and bask in the glorious sunlight of age
loving life and each other alone

Do i ask for Much?
Too much?
Oh much to much! She replies
What made you think that you'd find that in me?
Ive got my own perogitive.
Think of yourself, more as a stepping stone,
On my path across this great green Earth
Somewhere I stopped in for the night,
when the road got long and Weary
I may be back through this way sometime....
When I am Ready

Oh,,,
But, Honey You'll have missed me

I replied.

I'm Packing up and moving out.
Yes it was fun,
But now its my turn to Run

Forever And A Day

Ive waited... Well. Not waited
But I've Bid My Time, To Bid You a Fond Farewell

But I cant

I cant make it Fond.
Can't make it something you'd remember
Because you Don't remember Nothing

If i could
Then I would
But I can't

Can you tell Me?
I can't tell Myself!
And now i'm just Rambling
On And On and On

Oh How I wish,
But Dreamers dont Make for Lovers
Lovers Make For Suckers
And now that my mind Is Blank
I dont Know where to stop
So,
Just,
STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!

Lucy

Last night i took a journey to the ends of the Earth.
I went all out and spared nothing.
I took whoever was coming with me along,
and they came.
Silenced by thot.
Thinking in bubbles,
and bursting balloons

Was nothing real?

Is anything at all?

It is all Relative and Now its Clear.
Bright as day,
and Dark As night.
The future holds no boundaries.
It never did,
Blind limitations
and Seductive Scenes.
I take a look around and smile,
In Spite myself.
I am the only one Who understands,
Who gets it?
Yet it is Crystalline,
Transparent,
and Alive.
Live and Die to be content.
Contempt Holds no place in ones Life.
Its life alone thats meant to please.


"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"
In Letters
LSD

Death Defying Fall

So today I got a final bill.
I had to pay it in full,
Cash only.
I had to part with what I had worked so hard to get.
Well....
you can't take it with you when you go.
Right?
Didnt think so.
She lies and I lay next to her.
So Stoopid of me now that I think about it.
I thot wrong.
Assumptions get the best of us.
Especially if they're backed by hollow words.
A shallow pool that breaks your legs.
Take the plunge

Thunder and Lightning

To the back of my eyelids I will go tonite.
Hopefully I will see you there,
and I wont be shaking.
We will be Still,
Calm and Cool.
Hopefully to wake in the morning.
Not distraut,
But alive.
Wide eyed and gleaming

Beaming blue eyes.


Today wasn't so bad.....

Did i ask you that?
But the everlasting rain clouds
ensue.
Casting dark shades onto puddles of fallout.
The sky is still bleeding.
It has only just begun.

Is there an Issue?

Stagnant and stale
I thank you for bringing that to my attention.
This time I will write the body before i Choose a title.
Kind of like testing the waters before you dive right in.
Propell me towards greatness.

My weakness....
My savior.

Do not be afraid to touch, but be warry.
Looks can decieve,
and so can friends.

Or.....
Or.....

Whatever.
But in my right mind i will be.
All the chemicals flowing freely,
Controlling,
Directing,
and saying... Ahhhhhh!!!!

Open your mouth,
scream! There is no way out!

Deal or be dealt.
This deck takes a liking to the light hearted.
At least it did back in the day.
Heavy hearts just sink,
and i want to float.
NO!
I want to Fly.....

If Tomorrow Were A Day

Then what would it be
Allied or not,
Signified with a two and a three.
Strides taken,
Given.
When will the upper hand be granted?
Losing steam,
Hopefully.

If there weren't such a demand,
The supply would be forced to sell out cheaply,
and the hungry would be content.
Not starving.

Mindspeak

Sometimes we speak in third person.
Sometimes we speak in Tongues.
Sometimes we speak for others.
Sometimes we speak to ourselves.
Sometimes we say things we don't mean.
We even put words,
Into other peoples mouths.

Maybe to finish their statement,
Or to say what they just coulnd't say.
Maybe because they didn't want to.

But in any case,
No one really knows why, or how.
We grasp at straws and hands to help us up.
Sometimes they play mean tricks,
and just before we Re-gain our balance they let go.
Sometimes they turn their backs completly.
Sometimes its obvious,
Though you are oblivious to the truth.

Get up on your own wash your hands of it!
Do, 'I',
Want to?

I Guess I'll Stop

And I wont question your reasoning.
I'm not in charge. So I'll be the one to quit.
If you would stop me I'd say. Why!?
I'm not ready for one more day. Not even two.
I need a lifetime to get what i want.
So she stares......

In my direction for maybe twenty minutes more..
Her mind is blank and needs new stimulation.
If I went blank I would be gone forever.
I need something familiar to keep me alive.
Goodnight but not Goodmorning,
Not anymore.
No
I dont LOVE you. She said
But.. Hello...
Goodbye...

Not even Close

There was no chance of it,
and it wasnt because of the Sun.
But still it made no sense.
He would be passing by and would see her,
Up there at the top of the world,
Waiving down onto him.

It seemed as if she taunted him.
Her lips were moving.
But no sound came through the pane.
A glass wall
Not thick nor thin,
But more than enough to keep them apart.

He couldn't help but stare.
She was amazing.
Beautiful.
Yet the wrench he got in his gut,
When he realized she was content where she stood,
Peering down with a smile,
Sent him racing away

If she had only taken the stairs.
He thot.
Opened the door.
He thot.....

I can't get inside.
I need to be granted access.
She was a real let down, she was.
But its all just one in the same,
and now I'm flying.

One at a Time Please

Does she really understand that when he holds her hand he means it?
That only she can give him life now.
Altho he knew it before he had been forced to look away.
The light he had loved so much had ceased from being soothing,
But instead became blinding.
Hypnotized he fought for stable ground.
With no-one there to catch him,
He had to gain footing on his own.
Now sronger yet alone
Love and Hate were two horns on the same goat.

But then she came along....
A long, long ways away.
He broke the ice and it was melting.
Dripping down the storm drain.
He had no chance.
A Junkie,
Sticking needles in his arm,
He had found the perfect drug.
And It was so.

This game is all about posture,
and body language,
Even tones.

Skin, Voice, Dial

I won't put you on trial.
But I will ask you to answer a few questions.

How About It?

What Has Become?

In What manner should I address thee?

I will dress up,
and go out on the town.
Tho i preffer to stay at home,
I need new stimulation.
For she has gone.
For Good????

A Tale Of Deciet

And no-one knows it better
the story begins and ends right here

Open Ended

Where does it start?
Altho I cannot see the end,
I belive it exists in me somewhere,
and if i could just find it,
then my mind would be at ease.
No longer hastilly pacing the line.

On which step was it that I faultered?
She beckons me with her eyes,
Only a glance.
Not trying to send the wrong impression.
But its too late.
That has already been done.
Where do we go from here?
Well if its open ended then its safe to say,
Wherever.
Wherever the wind carries us.
Our wings will do all of the work.
The fearthers have their purpose too.

But promise that when we land you will hide them for me.
People stare with such contempt and desire,
I feel guilty. But it is not my fault.
Someone has to take the blame,
and when they do,
It had better be for the right reason.
Exceptionally good taste.
But no style whatsoever.

He pushes on,
Insomniac, in this world of reality.

Is This Allowed

Down Here.
Where we hide to get away.
To steal a moment in time and simply exist.
I will take the pressure, relieve it.
What problems could this created world put on us that we cannot escape?
If we try then we will succeed.
So inform me once again of your reasoning.

He has a house,
For the two of them.
A basement and a jungle of a backyard.
An attic with fans for the summer months,
and open windows for the breeze.
A porch with a view,
and berries, blue, black, rasp, and boysen.
Trees with fruit,
and bycicles which he rode at great speeds up and down streets of a distant land.
As a boy,
Far away from home.
But still He was home.

Why then did they not go?
Im not too sure.
So many things got in the way.
Factors,
That can only be factored in,
When other factors,
Act as inhibitors to the task at hand.
Happiness is bliss.
Thots of being held in loving arms,
and embrced by a heart that senses the mood,
and matches it with confidence.
Restoring faith to a hopeless cause.
Love
Not his alone.
Nor hers.
But theirs.

Now when can i push that reset button?
I need the O.K.

I Do

And without a word she stepped out of the light.
Back into the darkness.
The abyss.
Curtains drawn but not even a bow.
No gesture to the sole onlooker.
Only the clicking of the keys.
A keyboard.
He enviously wishes he could be.
Just to have her tap.
Incistantly,
Away.....